Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Body Image with Blogger: Plus Size and beyond

Time to get serious. 
Here's a picture of a baby hedge hog to get you through all this serious talk. 

Are we all cuteed-up? Excellent.
I wanted to touch on something that I've really been a part of my entire life. 
Body image. 
Now I'm not going to get all gushy on you about how I was always so depressed at my weight and yadda yaddda yadda. I think that junk is just...junk. I will tell you, however, that no one could pay me to return to middle school, or high school. The amount of money would be in the trillions. 
And it wasn't only because of body image, no no no. Self esteem really only outwardly plagued me for my freshman and sophomore year. My junior year I was thin, and my senior year, I could have not even given a single rat's ass what anyone at that school thought of me. But I digress.

Freshman year of college, I gained what I think may have been 50 pounds. That doesn't sound like a lot until it's on you. It was living on the campus+all the cafeteria food+never working out. I was super uncomfortable with myself, and I sort of felt like a freshman in high school again. For those of you who are in college/have graduated college, then you may get what I say when I say "freshman mentality". When you're a freshman in college, you still act like you're in high school. If you were quiet in high school, that's how you are the first year of college. If you were a bitchy little whore-twat in high school, well, you'll be one for another year. 
After that, college literally slaps you in the face and says SHUT UP. NO ONE CARES.
And no one does. People are too busy running around trying to graduate on time to care what you look like, or what you're wearing. The one's who still snark at you are either freshman, or have way too much free time on their hands. 

I thought something that may help me get my style act together, and maybe be a fun little side-project, would be blogging.
I started this blog back in November of 2011, started posting in December, and I don't think the first actually full body shots came until around January of 2012. I was still learning about my camera, my self-timer, and most important of all, how to pose so I didn't look huge. 
Being a plus-size girl, I was kind of nervous to start what was going to be a fashion blog. All I had seen on these blogs were images of GORGEOUS ladies, who looked like they may have never eaten in their entire lives. I really don't consider myself attractive, and I knew I could never look like those other bloggers. I am actually still kind of afraid to post on LOOKBOOK, knowing that the audience there is just a wee bit harsher than that of blogger. But it still bummed me out sometimes, knowing that I'll never look like those other bloggers.

I've had some time to myself recently, considering my recent computer crash. And I've come to a new conclusion.
Who gives an absolute fuck? Seriously? Who even cares what you look like? If you like how YOU look, then don't change a thing. Unless you need to do so for health reasons, don't lose weight. If you feel beautiful, then you ARE beautiful.
 If you want to buzz the entire side of your head and bleach it, go for it. Make a punk statement in your own head. 
Dress how you want to dress! There's nothing holding you back but YOU. If anyone says anything about you, giggles near you, points, snarks, or otherwise: smile, wave, and say hello. Make them uncomfortable! Their opinions are completely irrelevant to you, because you're style is fucking rad.
There's nothing wrong with creating something all your own, and calling it fashion. And I encourage you to do so. 
I've adopted this theory over the past couple weeks, and dressing kind of outrageous. Because I could.
Recently, I weighed myself. I don't really know why I did it, I hadn't in a while. I had lost about 12 pounds. I have adult ADHD, a continuing diagnosis from when I was 10. I've been taking adderall to help me concentrate more on school. If you've ever been on ADHD pills yourself, you may notice that you can't eat. It's not that you're hungry, it's that you are sick when you try. I lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks, because I was hardly able to consume ANYTHING. I lost an entire pant size. 

I'm losing weight not because I feel like I have to. I'm doing it because I want to. Because I feel like I could benefit from losing a good bit of weight, as far as my health. And because I want to be able to wear all different kinds of clothes, not just clothes that fit "larger" girls. Looking like other bloggers will never be possible for me. And I don't even care about that. 
I want to look like me.

You're all beautiful. Don't forget it.
-Trina Belle

Summer of Love V2

I'm a technological muther loving genius!
Well not really. Mostly I just went into safe mode and system restored from about a week before this who shit storm occurred. My virus program brought me back a (mostly) clean bill of health, though I'm still a little wary over then entire state of my poor computer.
But we're good to go on blogging!

I'd like to do another little list today, since you all seemed to adore the DIY spike list from last week. And for those of you waiting on outfit/thrift posts, do not despair. Two should be up by tomorrow nightish. Maybe friday nightish. Depending on how the day goes. 
I've been noticing over the past three weeks or so that I've started to regress. 
I'm dressing the way I did in 7th grade.
Now, take note. I didn't dress like other 7th grade kids in my class. Maybe that's why everyone thought I was weird. I wore bell sleeve gauze shirts with embroidered butterflies, and long skirts down to my ankles.
And clogs.
So many clogs.
Samantha and I actually met in 7th grade, and she said the first time she saw me, she thought I was a hippie. Like one from a convent. No joke.
I stopped dressing like that for a long time, and went through my all black phase. Then I transitioned into my rockabilly phase. Now I just look like a pint-sized indie ragamuffin. So to kick off Summer (because let's face it it's 80 degrees outside) I wanted to do a little quickie post about new styles, prints, cuts, flares, and what nots that are all a part of my new summer attire. 

1: Tie dye
(Image from here)

I don't care what it is, where I get it from, or how bad of a shape it's in. Over the past couple months, I've been tie dye crazy. I sort of live in that red tie dye dress I got from Ross a month ago. I have a special little gem to share with you in my next thrift post, so check that out whenever I get my crap together. Back to the tie dye. I just cannot even help it. And I am REALLY digging it over the black. I want this dress so freaking bad.

2: Turban scarf Headbands
(Image from here)

I love what this blogger did with this gorgeous yellow+her peachy coral. Those two colors sing to me. ANYWHO. I know I've preached the turban headband a bunch to you guys. But I have been wearing the crap out of mine all week. It's perfect for when your hair is just not cooperating.

3: Jewelry from the Earth
(Image from here)

I'm in love. Such deep, passionate love.
I believe these beautiful pieces are from Unearthen.
Which means they probably cost about 100-300 dollars.
A piece.
Which means that maybe I should start looking on eBay for gorgeous stuff like this. I can't even explain how much I want these though. They are so freaking mystifying. 

4: Embroidered Tops
(Image from here)

Say what you want. Tell me I'm hunting for clothes in my grandmother's closet. I can take it. (Because it's true)
I LOVE. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. This stitching. I have a top similar that I got at Macy's for like, 10 dollars (mostly because it was on psycho sale) that I wore today that is kinda sorta like this. I still love actual floral prints, don't get me wrong. But the embroidery is just so cute. (Btw, this top is actually on sale on the website that I gave photo credit to. $15 bucks! One of you better snag it before I have the money to.)

5: Round Sunglasses
 (Image from here)

 I've been a big sunglasses girl since forever. I have a semi-round face, and huge sunglasses really help to even it out. I never thought much of circle sunglasses though. They always just reminded me too much of packaged hippie costumes from party city. But recently, I've been thinking (a dangerous pastime) about how cute these could look with some denim shorts and a tunic top. 

That's all the listing for now! I'm doing one more post tonight on something which is pretty important to me, and then maybe later if I have time, I'm doing a sort of Compare and Save, eBay to designer garb post. Leave comments with a something you love, whether it be designer or otherwise, and I'll try to eBay find it for nice and cheap!

As always, love completely:
-Trina Belle